We were pulling into the school parking lot for a game, and cars were piling into rows that made no sense.
Tight lines of bumper-to-bumper vehicles, stacked so deep the ones in the middle couldn’t leave unless every car in front moved first.
People were trapping themselves, one row at a time.
I stared at the mess and asked my husband why anyone would keep parking like that, why they’d willingly pull into a spot where they’d have no way out.
“They’re just following the leader.”
And that’s when it clicked.
They weren’t making decisions.
They weren’t thinking ahead.
They weren’t evaluating anything.
They were simply following the person in front of them, assuming the one before them knew what they were doing.
That was the moment I saw the pattern:
Most people aren’t following their instincts.
They’re following the leader.
The truth is, there are many different F Words, but the one I want to shine a light on today is fraud, specifically the emotional fraud that begins when you’ve been conditioned to surrender.
Most people think fraud starts with a suspicious phone call or a too-good-to-be-true email. But the real setup happens years earlier, in the places that shaped you. It happens anywhere someone learned to silence their instincts and trade their inner compass for survival, acceptance, or peace.
The emotional fraud begins long before the scammer arrives.
This is the impact of being conditioned to surrender: your instincts fall silent long before manipulation shows up.
Where Instincts Learned Silence
Any time someone tries to control you, they send one message: they don’t trust you.
Parents call it protection. Bosses call it management. Partners call it care. Leaders call it guidance.
But control never lands as love. Control lands as doubt.
When a child has their choices overridden, they learn they can’t trust themselves. When an employee is micromanaged, they learn their judgment doesn’t matter. When a person has their instincts dismissed repeatedly, they learn someone else always knows better.
Once your mind accepts that message, it becomes easier for anyone who shows confidence to step into the space where your inner authority used to be.